


To Love or Like-Like a Sexy Neanderthal

by orphan_account



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, if Maury didn't have such a filthy mouth, this could be rated general, touches of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 07:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16384118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A first kiss can change your perspective on a lot of things... Picks up right after Matthew walks away from Jay in 2x10(Although Matthew knows hormone monsters exist, the show hasn't explicitly stated that Maury is his, so... I did my best with that -nervous laugh- )





	To Love or Like-Like a Sexy Neanderthal

**Author's Note:**

> Not my first fanfic, but definitely my first one in a long time. So I am very rusty. Not beta read, so any mistakes are my own. Critiques would be much appreciated!

“ _‘See you at the Manhole in ten years’_? Jesus Christ, Matthew! He was your first kiss and you’re just gonna walk away like that?” Maury’s gruff voice rang out as Matthew tried to make his way to class unnoticed.

“Ugh, well what should I have said? Oh that’s right, you aren’t my hormone monster so this is none of your business.” Matthew couldn’t help the catty remark as he turned to glare at the annoying beast.

“You shouldn’t have said anything. You should have pinned his sweet, toffee colored bod to the lockers and shown him how two real men fuc-”

“Woah, woah, please stop being the next creep on _To Catch a Predator_ for one second!” Matthew rubbed at his temple, trying hopelessly to stop his oncoming headache. “We’re in seventh grade, shouldn’t you be teaching us how to have happy, healthy, _functional_ relationships?”

Maury let out three raspy chuckles, “Oh, my sweet nectarine-”

“Wow, totally didn’t see that fruit analogy from a mile away.” Matthew interrupted with a roll of his eyes.

“Listen, kid. You can’t even admit that you liked your first make-out session. You can’t even admit that you like-like Jay. How do you expect me to teach you the intricacies of adult relationships when you can’t even be honest with yourself yet?”

Matthew felt his mouth fall open. “I do not like-like Jay, I barely _like_ him at all. He’s boorish and gross, and… and….”

As Matthew tried to find the right words to express his distaste of Bridgeton Middle’s number one pervert, he saw Jay in the distance still standing by his locker, now joined by Nick and Andrew. Jay was trying his best to impress the pair of best friends with a sleight-of-hand card trick, but he fumbled the deck and all fifty-two cards landed at his feet. Jay yelled something, Matthew assumed it was “ _Fuck!_ ”, and he saw Nick and Andrew share a knowing glance before laughing and walking away from Jay. Matthew grimaced and bit his bottom lip as the urge to go comfort Jay rose in his chest.

How often had Jay messed up a magic trick? How often had Matthew made fun of him for it? Both were too many times to count. Why did Matthew suddenly seem to care if Jay’s feelings got hurt? It couldn’t have had anything to do with the defeated look in Jay’s eyes as he angrily kicked at the cards before bending to pick them up, could it?

“Boorish and gross, and he was your first!” Maury cackled, now behind Matthew and resting his massive paws on Matthew’s thin shoulders. “Come on, kid! I don’t have to be your hormone monster to see you got it bad for little David Cock-erfield.”

“Ugh, you’re so crude!” Matthew seethed, brushing Maury off of him and walking towards his classroom again.

“I’m crude? What was it you said to Jessi during the group science project? ‘ _He’s like a sexy neanderthal_ ’?” Maury continued to taunt as he followed Matthew.

Matthew froze, “You… you heard that?”

“I hear every dirty thought you little shits have, sweetheart. So don’t try to play me. Jay isn't the only one confused about what happened between you two.”

Matthew turned once more to tell Maury to get lost, but his eyes once again landed on Jay sitting on the floor in front of the lockers. The poor kid looked so dejected and alone. Matthew felt a hot prickling in his eyes as he realized he’d seen that look before. It was a look he often wore himself when he still lived in Texas. Matthew quickly turned and ran to his class, trying his best to ignore the sound of Maury’s laughter. He vaguely wondered if the queen of Guy Town would be laughing too if he could see how quickly the once young, gay, and mean character had let down his walls after only his first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Wanna say hi? Wanna drop a prompt? Wanna just yell? Well then, stop by [ my tumblr ](https://of-pillows-and-sweater-vests.tumblr.com/) and say hello!


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